Keeping abreast
Keeping abreast by Anne O'Connor
When I first heard about a mom being asked to cover up her nursing baby at the library, I cringed. (See page 6.) First, because of the ramifications for that woman, that baby, the whole of breastfeeding. And, honestly, because I knew I would have to write about librarian Shirley Creager, who’s always been friendly and helpful to me, my kids and everyone else I’ve seen her interact with. She’s a good, kind woman.
Beyond that, a lot of people agree with Creager that a nursing mom should cover her baby while breastfeeding in public. In addition to the outcry of disappointment and frustration I’ve heard from nursing moms, I’ve heard from women who feel like the nursing mom overreacted when she was offended by being asked to use a blanket. Maybe, one mom said, women do need\ to be a little more careful and discreet. I understand where Creager and these women are coming from. We all ought to consider each other, it’s the only way the world works well.
But I’d like to put a vote in for the consideration of breastfeeding. Given how important this simple act is to the life and welfare of any child, we ought to all be going out of our way to accommodate nursing mothers, not questioning them or asking them to cover up.
Even for a confident and secure mother, breastfeeding in public presents uncomfortable moments. For a shy or even simply modest person, it can require an enormous strength to simply feed her child in public. Moms don’t nurse in public to offend people; they are trying to do the best thing they can for their babies. And unless moms plan on staying home all the time, nursing babies in public is part of the deal. In order to persevere, moms need support. If they don’t feel like they can count on that, even in the children’s section at the public library, a lot of them will give up. A lot of them aren’t going to start in the first place.
I know that Creager supports moms and nursing in general. But her request, however gently she thinks she asked it, wasn’t supportive of breastfeeding. And in a world where there is so much stacked against a woman doing the right thing, she needs every bit of support she can get to keep on doing it.
Across the country, almost 74 percent of women start breastfeeding their babies, according to the 2007 Annual Report Card on Breastfeeding from the Centers for Disease Control. By three months, only 31 percent still breastfeeding exclusively, as widely recommended. And only 21 percent of moms follow the recommendation to continue nursing for at least the first year and longer if possible.
The enormous, tangible, and long-lasting benefits of breastfeeding are undeniable. Babies and moms are healthier. Period. They take fewer medical resources and help promote a healthier country overall, which is why getting moms to breastfeed, exclusively for six months and continuing for at least a year, is a national goal. All the medical and health care professionals agree, which is a small miracle in itself. This is clearly good practice.
So why aren’t more moms doing what’s best for their babies? Those answers are pretty clear, too.
Women don’t get enough help figuring out how to start breastfeeding, women don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public, women have to return to work and pumping or nursing there can be awkward or a hassle, women have husbands or family or friends who don’t actively support their decision to breastfeed.
Why is support so hard to come by? It seems like the breast is a great focal point, ahem, for the ways that women are expected to behave in the world. In our culture, breasts are flashed about in magazines and billboards, on television and in movies. People like breasts. What’s not to like?
But, ironically, some people get squeamish when breasts are doing, arguably, what they’re meant to do: nurse babies. Maybe reconciling the sexual and practical uses of the breast, or larger still, of the woman, is the real challenge. Can I just clarify this? And for women as well as men? Women and their breasts are capable of being both sexy and smart, wholesome and responsible, practical and frivolous. We are, you might have heard, the ultimate multi-taskers.
Another thing: Feeding our babies isn’t a sexual act, so can you please separate that out in your head? Women who nurse aren’t trying to turn anyone on. They’re feeding a child, okay? Really. And a nursing mom ought not have to stop living her life trying to make everyone around her comfortable. Women have to figure out how to rebalance the scales of making people around them comfortable and making themselves comfortable. We can do this. We can do it gracefully and without anger. Women can stand up for what is right for themselves, for their babies, for the planet. And still be thoughtful, kind and considerate. Women can feed their babies and do all kinds of things, like put out newspapers. Believe me. So the next time you see a nursing mom, try to notice if you’re agitated. If you are, can you let it go for the greater good? Try to flash that brave mom a smile and move on. There’s important work happening there.
Anne O’Connor, editor
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