Sheriff’s report...In Verse

Joshua Mlsna, asleep at the wheel,
Suffered a mishap near Cashton.
The creek that meanders beside County P
Will remember the car that he crashed in.

Helon Boring! Are you ignoring
The fences supposedly holding your horses?
They’re loose again,
And your neighbors and friends
Have reported the fact to the county enforcers!

Some folks let their dogs run free
Some folks employ a chain
Some folks pet the pooches they see
Others call in to complain

An incident down in Rag Hollow
Features clues too obscure to follow
A new box and old fridge
Both turned up in the ditch
Coincidence? That’s hard to swallow.

A culvert, some mailboxes, posts, and a sign
Were destroyed by a driver
on the Whitestown line
But is it really “hit and run,”
if he didn’t hit no one?

In Chaseburg, Nick Hammes,
Cheerful in pajamas
Went outside ‘cause he was finally able
Breakfast was eggs with ham
Some toast and raspberry jam,
But alas, where’s the wooden picnic table?